one day, Pilwin
they'll understand why
this had to happen
you have my trust
my vision
and my love
always
i will forever be in your dreams
i married your father when i was young
we had loved one another
a rare thing for those of our pedigree
he was passionate and bold
before they pecked and picked at him
day in and day out
like vultures
i did what i could
but they were relentless, pilwin
always needing more and more
your father stopped smiling
he stopped telling bad jokes
and soon enough that light behind his eyes
that fire that kept everything moving
burned out
still, i loved him
every once in awhile
i would catch glimpses of the old him
that passionate, revolutionary man
who shared my genius
and envisioned a world i could never see
but soon even the embers burned out
they had killed him all the same
the days grew dark and long
we rarely saw one another
let alone speak
i looked forward to the ballroom dances and galas
if only to pretend
it had become a duty
a chore
to love me
another list to be tended
another task to be marked off
i envisioned ballroom dresses in flames
silk curtains swaying on fire
part of me wanted to see him fail
to level this accursed city to the ground
with my own two hands
those pigs whispering in his ear
as if i was unable to hear them
if they took what i cherished
it is only fair i do the same
that's a fair trade, isn't it, pilwin?
i had only wanted one thing in my life
i had done everything asked of me
everything
so now i will do what i want
my precious boy
and you will help me
there will be others
those who wish to see it all burn
use them as you see fit
as they have used me
they will flock to you
as their kind always do
and you must guide them
as i have guided you
the world i want to create for you
cannot be reached by one
without wings
i will teach you to fly
and you will be the lord of what is left
had i known
losing these memories
would include such pain
i would have prefered
to never have made them
The Mother
The Caged
The Genius
The Dove
The Burned
The Son
The Bluebird
The Loved
The Chosen
The End
it sings to me
this new world
can you see it?
we are free
you and i
look for the birds
and i will be there
if there is one thing you should know about me, pilwin, it is that i would never lie to you. i am not blind to my own shortcomings. you mother, for all her genius, is insane. it is not something i am unaware of. in fact, i have been keenly aware of it for some time. the process of derangement is slower in those of keen intellect, it is believed, and thus i use my remaining time to educate and prepare you to carry on my vision of how things should be.i would like to think you will follow my will without explanation or motivation but i see the same spark of genius in your eyes that i once had. it is natural to question ones place in the world and so i will attempt to explain myself to you here where the poison of
SOCIETY
cannot infest you as it has the rest of our family. it is imperative that you understand just how special you are, pilwin, and that you know you alone have the power to
END
this cruel cycle of decay and corruption. you cannot rely on your siblings or your father. this city has crushed them in its own way. it is all i can do now to save you from the same suffering i have endured. please understand that i love them, i cherish them,
but i do not need them
in the same way i need you. there is a divine light inside of you. one meant to sweep away the rot. derangement is a punishment from the gods, pilwin, and society was never meant to exist. you have to tear down what is to make room for what will be. there will be blood and screaming and smoke and death. what i ask of you is something unfathomable. you will come to understand it soon
but you are not alone
there are others. those with the capacity to envision what i have seen for you. they will follow you when the time is right. you need but show them my vision as i will show it to you. above all, i will always be with you. i can assure you this. i love you.
when you uncover this letter
burn it
when the sun falls
come to the vault
my beloved son
i will share with you
my vision
and how i feel
My name is Pilwin Trist. I am the seventh and youngest child of Hathaway Trist, the renowned Archbanker, and Lorelai Cardea, the 'Rose of Society'. I have never known what it feels like to go to bed hungry, or to be so cold as to remove all feeling from the tips of my fingers. Servants and guards do whatever I say, no matter how ridiculous, and I am afforded a sizable sum of coin with which to purchase whatever I like whenever I like. I find most things quite uncomplicated. I have never approached an interesting topic and failed to grasp the fundamentals of it. I make friends easily and they look to me for advice and confide their secrets in me. Matters of the divine are laid bare to me. I cannot remember the last time I felt worried or struggled.This is the curse my mother passed along to me. A ceaseless boredom.I can see it in her eyes. A profound sadness, a weariness I could never hope to match. If there is one bright spot in my extremely dull life, it is her ideas and stories. Fantastical places she describes as if she had seen them herself, tragic tales and desired ends. She teaches me about people - their wants, their drives, their needs. How best to use them. One day, she told me, everyone will do what I say. She had confirmed something I always felt as if I knew - that I was special, different from the masses. As I was able to peer into her soul, she was able to peer into mine. I felt as if she was the only person in this world I could truly rely on.When she set herself ablaze, I saw what she had been trying to show me my entire life. Up until that point, I had never felt such beautiful emotions, nor wept. Her sacrifice allowed me to live. Everything was dangerous and intriguing - full of color, warm, true, and disgusting. I had never felt such a deep, rending pain before and nothing in my life had made me happier. I chased after that feeling in everything I did. When the poor looked at me with disdain and hate, happiness coursed through me. Heated, emotional arguments with my siblings turned into joyous occasions I chased as often as I could. Hate was my love, and so I yearned for it in the absence of the one person I couldn't stand to lose. As you have shown me how you feel, I will show others how I feel.
If there is one truth my mother left me,
It is that I am meant for greater things.
I've decided to enact her will upon Society.
If only to see if I can pull it off.
Her final gift to me..
..was something that would never leave me bored.
it always begins the same
with the towers of society aflame
the smoke trails to the heavens
like a prayer
and the sun turns silver
abadar turns his back
the crops die
and then the animals
and when the food runs out
those people who called me friend
who poisoned your father
they begin to devour one another
the illusion of the settlements fails
the specter of war is reborn
but eventually
all is silence
here you will find me
and we will rebuild
properly this time
a place where you and i
can be happy
i will be waiting
when the flame begins to burn
when those who caged me
beg to be free
you will find me there with you